The Greatest Tragedy of the Modern Era (3 of 100)

Dear readers,

The post you are about to read is dedicated to the plight of destitute, vitamin D deprived fanboys and fangirls everywhere. One of, if not the greatest injustices of our times is the inability to purchase fantastic games when they are new. I’m speaking to you of this from the heart, from the depths of heart-wrenching frugality. I shall begin the examination of this dilemma by analyzing the emotional toll it can take.

Part 1
Being unable to fulfill my whims instantly is a constant strain on my overall well-being. If I want something, there is absolutely no need to avoid instant gratification. That is, unless, there is money to be saved. Unfortunately, the precedent for video games is that price decreases significantly within about 6 months; this causes my inner Smaug to refuse to spend an extra penny on brand-new games, especially when finances are tight. The roiling turmoil that results from the inner tug-of-war that ensues is rather enough to send me off the deep edge. In addition to self-inflicted emotional struggles, there’s also the knowledge that I could, this instant, be taking part in the collective discovery of a new gaming experience, a feeling that is not unlike being in a super-cool clubhouse where all the members have a secret handshake and code language.  By purchasing a game six months after release, you’re being the kid who comes to the club meeting in last week’s outfit with last week’s cypher, wearing crude orthodontic devices and flinging spittle with each awkward plosive.

Part 2
Spoiler avoidance is next to impossible when one frequents such topical, up-to-the-minute news sites as reddit, which I have been known to do on an all-too-frequent basis. Not only that, but the entire internet veritably explodes with gossip about juicy details from fresh-off-the-presses games, and there’s no way in hell I’m avoiding the entire internet for six months. One must tread very carefully, and pray that others have the decency to include spoiler alerts if they absolutely must divulge them.

Part 3
I could go on, but I’m very tired, so I’ll just summarize. By not buying new games the instant they’re released, lasting mental damage can be incurred. The emotional drain of self-denial combined with being out-of-vogue and risking all the twists of a plot being revealed prematurely pose a significant threat to a person’s livelihood and stability. Therefore, it is an extremely lamentable situation to be so poor as to have to wait for prices to drop; in fact, it is demonstrably the most lamentable situation.

-T.

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About narsi1ion

My name is Tessa. I'm 27 years old, and I live in Hamilton ON, previously Calgary AB. I'm battling recently-diagnosed fibromyalgia, and steadily improving chronic dizziness. Things that I don't get angry at: Bunnies, Gerard Butler, Blood donors, The colour purple, Parrots, Flan.
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